


Blue is a bad colour

by dahtwitchi



Category: Naruto
Genre: And plot there is plot don't ask me why, Blow Jobs, But it'll always get better, Canon typical violence may happen, Cockblocking, Comic, Emotional Constipation, Everyone are trainwrecks, Except Hashirama he is a sunshine shrubbery fairy, Hair-pulling, Hashirama will ascend unto a higher plane of cockblocking existence if he get any more floaty, Idiots in Love, Izuna is a little shit, M/M, Madara no, Madara “will not let go of anything and use it to prove a point” Uchiha, NSFW Art, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, So the beginning is a bit wonky because I had no clue PLOT was going to sneak in later xp, There might be some angst somewhere, Tobirama “able to rationalise my feelings to non existence with logic” Senju, UST, at least my comic-like thingies, mostly because of Hashirama, toe flirting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-20
Updated: 2018-08-24
Packaged: 2019-04-05 01:31:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 41
Words: 0
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14033244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dahtwitchi/pseuds/dahtwitchi
Summary: Hashirama must have a sixth sense for whenever his brother is on the verge of finally getting laid. Tobirama and Madara might or might not have a thing going, if ever they actually got to the thing at all!(A series of unfortunate cockblocking events in the form of a sketchy comic, some quite NSFW.)





	1. And thus they began to almost have sex for the first time

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok people. I can't even begin to tell you how happy I am with the outcome of SO MANY of the individual drawings! :D The snarky, superiority of Tobirama in the beginning. Madara's face just as they kissed first... *flail*
> 
> And yu-P, I gave no reason or dialogue there in the beginning ^^;; I can see the images in my head clearly (I mean, you do see the well trodden trope, right?) but any specifics just.... didn't happen ^^;;;; I'm so glad I can just draw things instead of writing them, so many kudos to the writers out there that can plot and dialogue and all that xD


	2. That's such a bad idea Madara

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The strangulation come in play here. It's not sexual, just really stupid reasoning. Really stupid. Don't trust people who think strangulation is a good way to solve problems, people!

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You didn't let go of the hug, boys! :3


	3. Things in common

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who'd have thought.

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...I'm not sure where all the dialogue came from. I never claimed to have a plan. Please don't expect a nicely rounded story xD


	4. Then there is some actual arguing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hashirama is disappointed and have vehement objections toward realistic planning of infratructure. Madara have a forest in his hair and might not be the best negotiator. Tobirama think Madara is an enabler but his brother is probably more frustrating.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (This might count as a filler chapter, it's a bit of a mess xD)

[](https://postimages.cc/)

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to remind myself about the argumentative nature between Tobirama and Madara after last chapter xD My brain kept going happy places where everything was sweet and sappy and hey got laid. So. This chapter is mostly wrangled into being to have that reminder that there are reasons one could theoretically believe them to do stupid fight all the time ^^
> 
> I have no proper headcanon about the dynamic between the brothers and how one being best friend and one (in theory) being boyfriend with Madara would actually work out. I mean, jealousy, claim for time and attention and so on? In this there will be no full on jealousy, but I dream about fics where that is a proper issue. Oh the angst x3


	5. The Archives

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hashirama. Seriously. Stop evading paperwork!

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rrrrrrright. I think this is how explicit I'll dare to stay within the TOS of my image host. Why are free hotlink allowing image hosts that are fine with explicit gay stuff so hard to come by? x3
> 
> That. Yup. Thanks and omgwhy to all great commenters out there! Because I should probably spend my IRL time a bit better, but, well. Congrats on double update? ^^


	6. Behind you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Madara have childhood traumas.

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so so sorry for this. I just... am one of the people giggling at the part of the manga where Madara can't pee with Hashirama around xD So, well, I had to do this ^^;;;;;;;;;;;; And the way it was portrayed, I imagine Hashirama was a troll and and sneaked up far too often xD
> 
> Also, I'm tipping into a lot more of the supposedly sexy stuff. I'm going to be honest here and ask for opinions. Because I have somewhat demisexual leanings, and I just get distracted by the fact there is saliva and body orifaces and omg kisses look so stupid mashy faces! I've tried to find nice refs for kisses, but I just end up a bit mystified as to what one earth look nice about it, and have to make an effort to be able to experience it nicely again xD So, I really appreciate any input on those parts :3


	7. With that lot of hair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In some situations, a serious amount of hair is a true curse.

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOTE
> 
> Head lice happen. To anyone who happens to come into contact with them. The risk is actually lower if you have dirty hair. So no go around having opinions about the cleanliness of those getting head lice.
> 
> Tobirama is becoming an expert at removing himself from the situation.


	8. A moment inbetween

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Should I say sorry for the lack of cockblocking? xD
> 
> Do anyone have a CLUE how crazy tricky it is to draw a smiling Tobirama without it looking NOTHING like Tobirama????? AGISJDHISGHRAGLKJRIH I have SO MANY SCRAPPED SKETCHES! I picked the best of the bunch xD


	9. Why hello, Izuna

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some brothers are quicker than others.

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trying to actually work on penstrokes. And the challenge of making Izuna as expressive as the others, what with neither eyes nor eyebrows visible.
> 
> ...I'm not sure. How obvious is it that Izuna is just trolling to drive his brother insane, or does it seem like he actually try to take Tobirama for himself?


	10. Coming out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Madara had another idea Tobirama didn't find as brilliant as he should.

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve come up with too much story building rather than stupid stupid moments lately, care to give some inspirational interruption situations? x3


	11. (Chapter removed)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just move on to next chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As this chapter was made once upon a time before there was plot, it was standalone silliness. After consideration I have come to the conclusion I simply did not feel it fit anywhere in the story as a whole anymore.
> 
> You can [find it on Tumblr](https://dahtwitchi.tumblr.com/post/171927264663/i-am-hereby-starting-a-madatobi-au-that-begin-with) if you want some more silly cockblocking.
> 
> Enjoy some stand-in fanart of the Cockblocking Saint Hashirama made by my beta :D [(their post with this on Tumblr)](https://neutrons-art.tumblr.com/post/174046416037/saint-cockblock-for-dahtwitchi-he-is-currently)


	12. Yoga

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yoga can help if you are stiff, have problem with tension or need to create a calmer more serene mindspace.

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> .........yeeeeeah.


	13. Izuna want to learn yoga

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the end, Izuna actually do want to learn that level of flexibility for himself. Surely it's a useful skill, and quite impressive, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to the insistent response from quite a few quite vocal readers on last chapter, I present to you: Tobirama actually doing yoga.

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, there, I hope this pleases you all what with how many seemed to feel cheated in the last chapter (maybe you all have some sympathies for Madara's constant situation now ;3) 
> 
> I researched, and sketched and blargh I put more effort into this than sensible xD 
> 
> I even had a list of yoga poses recommended for prostate problems simply because I had planned to work in Izuna asking why Tobirama chose to show him those specific ones to learn. And Tobirama would have told him that they were to help with the prostate, you know, because Izuna was so old and such. Then let it devolve into Izuna trying to make sexual jokes, because wow he wouldn't have been able not to! But Tobirama would just have been nonplussed and Izuna would have told his brother he has much to teach the young lad!
> 
> But. It didn't pan out at all, and there are too many headcanons the comic doesn't show, and so on. So, it ended up this instead. But I do mourn the possibilities of that little thing! (Feel free to adopt x3)


	14. When to talk, and when not to talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Do not stoop to smugness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...don't kill me? xD
> 
> I kind of have a plan to have them ever interact in the same room again, promise! (speculations, ponderings and theories are always good food for the process though x3)


	15. Not exactly reconciliation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Madara and Hashirama plot together. Yeah. I know.

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AUGRHGLANLSDKJZ Now I leave this chapter behind me because it was BLARGH getting together and I still don't think it makes much sense but it caintains stuff I want there to build up even if it's just really- *deep breath* I don't know. Hopefully it helps carry it forward in a way that makes sense, especially in context with later chapters ^^;;;;;;;
> 
> Yeah. I have one advise: Madara? If you try and make things better, and open your mouth to say something?  
> Don't.  
> Really, really don't.  
> (And don't make half assed plans with Hashirama because he shows up at the most inopportune moments! ...or maybe it was just in time this once xD)
> 
> I _swear_ Madara is actually trying! ^^;


	16. Madara has an insight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He just hadn't realised it before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should rename this “the trials and many errors of the trainwreckiest Uchiha Madara that ever trainwrecked” ^^;
> 
> (I still haven't decided on their actual age difference, Tobi is definitely 20+ though. It's just Madara who Does Not Compute the facts put together suddenly like that x3)
> 
> I should add a crack tag or fifteen, shouldn't I? xD 
> 
> I've said a heartfelt goodbye to pacing. And sanity. I need to pick this up before it gets even more painful to watch xDDDD


	17. True friendship

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not that Tobirama was ever asked if he was fine with a great friendship formed between him and Izuna. Because Izuna is mostly a little pest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HERE! Have a chapter. Be happy. I’m dead because of wrangling this damned thing together.
> 
> Leave me lots of love so that I may rise again to get on to some actual MadaTobi content.


	18. Decisiveness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Tobirama decide on a topic, patience is Not A Thing.  
> When Madara want something, he does have a hard time not to take it all for himself whenever he can.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Make sure no unauthorised watching over your shoulder is going on! ;3_

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm a bit shaky.
> 
>  
> 
> _(No, this is not the last chapter. If you think there are no issues, no more sexual tension nor cockblock possibilities looming on the horizon, you need to exercise your imagination a bit more ;3)_  
>  BONUS PAGE! Because HikariNoAkefia was evil x3  
>   
> 


	19. Cupcakes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hashirama didn't get any frosting last night, poor thing. Happily he can have some actual frosting today.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You'll get out a lot more from this chapter if you managed to catch the bonus page in last chapter's notes that I added a while after I posted the actual chapter, so some might have missed it! :3

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> phew. After the last few chapters, it was time to slow down slightly. I wouldn't survive trying to create that intense chapters for long without stupid chapter breaks xD And stupid is what this was meant to be after all x3
> 
> And. You know that feeling from when you are new to sex, or have had some reeeeal nice time, where afterwards it just hit you from time to time and you zone out? Congrats to our boy Tobi! Gooood luck with paperwork 8D


	20. Tomorrow is now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, they did manage to find a timeslot in tomorrow.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	21. Sleeping beauty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobirama, we all know you are grown up now, but please listen to your brother when it comes to your health?

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As it is with most of us, sleep deprived Tobirama have no filter or attention span x3
> 
> I'm just going to sit here with my fuzzy heart and sigh dreamily for a while, mkay?
> 
> ADDITION TO TIE IT UP


	22. Romance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The most romantic of gestures is when you offer up something that will make your partner feel special and treasured. There are two common ways to know they gesture is a grand one. Either if the giver find the gesture trivial but choose to show it anyway because it means something to the receiver, or the gesture is something that takes a lot out of the giver because they want to give it. Because of the individuality of mankind, there are a multitude of things out there that may be seen as romantic, depending on giver and receiver. Even when neither of them meant it in those terms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prepare for full frontal nudity first thing! xD
> 
> .
> 
> Also, added an image earlier today in the notes of last chapter, of Tobi waking up, in the usual Hashirama-induced fashion.

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will claim Madara's gesture to be oh so romantic! 8D 
> 
> ...I'm cackling at my own comic xD
> 
> This have been around in my wip piles for so long I had to drew a few things anew to fit in where the story developed, so I thought better to have it now rather than even later in the storyline where it’d have been even trickier to fit properly ^^ So I've been waiting weeks to have a place for it x3
> 
> _(I still claim the most romantic thing my partner of 15 years have done for me, is to completely unprompted a few years in begin make the bed with matching bed linen. They still find it a complete waste of energy and brain capacity, but began doing it even more rigorously than I do, simply because they know I like it to match.)_


	23. Hair Care

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Really, if the two of them can't be bothered, maybe they should just cut it all! It interferes with Tobirama's day dammit!

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No. Tobirama had no time at all. None. Bless the boy.


	24. To see the important things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes you might get caught up in something, and not quite see what is right in front of you. Or maybe that's exactly what you do.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If ever there was a walk of shame.
> 
> Gods, have I ranted about this chapter to my chat friendlies. But now it's here. And, really, I love all of you chatty, chatty people, somehow we all together have generated an insane amount of comments on this. And I do hope to hear more from all of you out there as we continue! <3


	25. Just a moment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A short moment in time.

  
  



	26. Relationships are not symmetrical

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A relationship is never ever symmetric. Another person can not ever be exactly to you what you are to them and vice versa.
> 
> That is not to say that sometimes the differences are... well, more different and maybe less understood than other times.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Over and out, another 'I'm dead from exhaustion' chapter x3 
> 
> (and yeah, sorry, I know, I had NO CLUE this was going to include neither plot nor angst either when it started! I know some of you got whiplash, I hope it's a good kind that's worth it, and you bet it'll be a happy ending, but, well, maybe some more rollercoaster before that? x3)
> 
> (And someone will recognize far too much of the diaglogue, thanks to DonKoogrr for that xp)


	27. How to apologise?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are many ways to apologise. Some are better, some are worse. Some aren't really apologises, others are very well defined and carefully worded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Extra long chapter instead of two chapters! :3 And I got new paper that behaves a bit differently, so the art might not look that much the same as before. Should be enjoyable either way ^^

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...does that count as apologising? 8D
> 
> The arc "Izuna's Eyes" FINALLY concluded! Let's get back to some more light heartedness the next time, hm?
> 
> And _please_ do consider leaving a comment on this, because I'm SOOOOO curious as to what the opinions are about the way the arc concluded x3


	28. Work hours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hashirama maybe, he'll probably admit, overdid the drinking a taaaad bit during the festival night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A general shout out of I LOVE YOU! Seriously, darlings and dears and sweethearts all of you! So many comments and kudos and hits and~ It makes it a joy to share all this ^^ And I'm so happy last chapter was so appreciated for so many of you, I have been angsting for ages about it. Now we'll have a slower pace and intensity for a while, though. A breather well needed, at least for me. Happy continued reading! :D

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _ (When the temp reach 20C, I think it’s kind of ok. When it go above 23C, I get slow and cranky. When it passes 25 I get whiny. It is 27 degrees Celsius at the moment and I’ve spite produced a chapter x’D Don’t expect coherency or such from me for a while, and if the chapter is perfectly fine, I congratulate you all to have received a decently made chapter ^^) _


	29. Skinny dipping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A swim in hot weather is delicious!

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Senju brothers aren't body shy, they go skinny dipping all the time in the summer xD (And our sunshine shrubbery love that he can get his little brother to play with him! :D) Madara prefer NOT being naked where people can see, thank you very much x3
> 
> _(This chapter shouldn’t be surprising to those who have registered the fact I get whiny and grumpy about hot weather. Which we still have. I need to get me to the closest lake soon, even if the water is still spring temp even if the land have decided on summer temps xp I will be posting a lot slower during summer, must out and play and garden and the paper tend to stick to my hands most of the day so actually drawing is a bother x'D Hope you survive, and get out in the summer, too ^^)_


	30. On the art of being obvious

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yes.

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surely there are ways to be more exact and precise and obvious.
> 
> I'm going to go fall over into the bed and sleep now. Enjoy!


	31. Too hot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So hot you are practically on flames, baby!

  
  
  
  
  
  



	32. Efficient Logistics

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobi does try to plan his day as logically efficient as possible. You just need to rationalise away unnecessary things.

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :3


	33. What you did

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And how to react on that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bonus gold star for anyone who catch the far too geeky star trek TOS reference ;D


	34. Time, time, time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Always running out of time.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _(A big great yaaaaaaaaay and keyboard smash for all you engaged and enthusiastic readers out there, you are all awesome and make the effort so worth it!)_


	35. Fights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Madara has intentions.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew. That's a chapter and a half. Here you go, soon chapter! I'll have very unpredictable time for the foreseeable future, so we'll see how fast or slow it'll be up until the final.
> 
> _(I'm a bit amazed at the Madara coddling, but I guess it's nice he has some sympathies. He is rather sweet after all :3)_


	36. It's better if you talk to each other

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's called communication.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _So this chapter have been brewing for months, and so many people have been there poking at it. It's changed a lot since some saw it, not so much for others. Considering this was the reason this story gathered plot? Thanks to Amihan, Copyninken and DonKoogrr who let me lend their brains a bit, and Neutrons, the most frustrating beta I've picked up along some godforsaken road and now prod at my art and story and spur me to far more than is sensible. Completely insane. All meanings meant x'D_
> 
> _Emotional chapters always leave me exhausted like few other things. Let's take a deep breath for the final run of chapters of the story, mkay?_
> 
> So many cookies to anyone who realise just where a lot of inspiration for this chapter come from, and how I couldn't help but paraphrase a quote from one of the nicest pieces of emotional live action scenes I know.


	37. Pushing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Always acknowledge the feelings of the pressured part. Make them feel their concerns are valid before pushing your own agenda, and communication will go smoother.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's wind them up just that little bit more. Madara, you should know better than try to use plainly the power of the emotion love as an argument to your boy's actual concerns? I know you are giddy about that fact. I know. Sit there, where you for once was struck down bad enough not to be left standing, and think for a bit about where that went wrong, hm?


	38. Out of sight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes arguments are better to let rest. Other times, that only builds them up worse. You better learn the difference between the two with people close to you.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that was the last we'll see of Izuna. I'm having emotions as we draw to a close.


	39. Talking behind your back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To be subtly obvious, or obviously subtle.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hashirama and Madara are friends. So friends. And smitten. 
> 
> Tobirama... Well.
> 
> As usual. Neutrons is an excellently horribly poking Beta.


	40. A view on happiness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is quite a lot being woven together into a functioning life and society.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (I do hope you recognise the Old Gardens from ch27 ;p)
> 
> To some, emotions just exist. To others? It's a myriad of logic versus feelings, responsibilities versus self. We can't all just act on emotions or the world would be thrown into chaos. But somewhere? Somewhere there need to be a line or everyone else will live at the cost of yourself. If you draw the line too early, though, you risk enjoying life at the cost of others.
> 
> And some are cursed with being constantly aware of these choices.
> 
>  
> 
> _(I'm slow with responses at the moment, I will get to them but I'm prioritising getting the chapters done. Life is coming knocking in quite a way and I might or might not be completely swamped, so I want to be sure this is not left hanging for months if it tips over in the worst ways. Do know that every unanswered and answered comment is a great big motivation and makes it worth the time I do put in now at the last stretch of this story <3 Hope to come out with the last chapter in not too long! Love you all for being along for this journey~)_


	41. The End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And so they-

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Three weeks later. Izuna shouted as his brother nearly upended the table in his haste to rise, questioned the manners of his brother.
> 
> "I forgot to tell him I love him back!" Madara sounded frantic, the air around Izuna making his hairs stand on end as from the sheer stress of Madara. 
> 
> "You forgot _what_ now!?" Izuna screamed after the disappearing chakra signature of his brother. With a sigh, he returned to the meal. If he was unlucky, the idiots wouldn't be talking to each other for a while. _Again_. Depending on just how much care Madara would take to make sure they were in private before sharing his personal feelings. Izuna just hoped his and Tobi's sparring matches wouldn't be too affected, he could do without having frustration unleashed upon his person. To think he had thought things had been solved and life would be easier with the two of them from now on out. Yeah. Right.)
> 
>  
> 
> And here endeth half a year of work. I do hope you've enjoyed yourself, and that if you can only keyboardsmash because EMOSHUNS (these are not tears! It has been perfectly possible to not get overwhelmed by feels as I drew this last chapter!!! I'm also a liar and I need tissues) at the moment, I'd love to see you return later and babble on with more coherency. I rather think I need a support group because the separation from this story is grand!
> 
> I do want to thank all you commenters, both randoms and especially the bunch of you that followed and shared thoughts every chapter. It's been such a inspiration that has helped me push on. Special thanks to copyninken, donkoogrr, amihan and neutrons, that all have brainstormed at different stages, prodded at WIPs and was of big help when PLOT hit the story.
> 
>  
> 
> Have a good day, people!

**Author's Note:**

> Anyway. I post a bunch on my [Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/dahtwitchi) come by and wave ^^

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [This is Why Tobirama Can't Get Anything Done](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14142450) by [notbug (KageKashu)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KageKashu/pseuds/notbug)
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